I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
