You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
