is your mom at the bar?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
