God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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