Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
