It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
