He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
