You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
