Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
