I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
