I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
dude. I can hear the air.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
