i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
