I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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