Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
