Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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