PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
