My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
