Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
