If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
soo... how was my night?
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