You're my little dorito
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
