Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
