I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
