i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
His hands were made for my vagina.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think a kid would responsible me up
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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