can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
this beer tastes like vomit already
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
