I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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