I want to stick my p in your. b.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
