I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
