Fine. I'll sleep in my office
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
