I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
