What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
