at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
