My hand turned me down
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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