my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
