Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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