I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
