I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
