you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
