He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
