I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
