So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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