He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
