I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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