i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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