Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I love having hate sex.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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