So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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