What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
