I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
