I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
