I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
