I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
