His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just forgot I was standing up.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
